For a Mystery

At any funeral where the family is stricken with grief, inevitably somebody who means well will come up and chime "It all happens for a reason". As respectful grievers it is our duty to stop ourselves from kicking that person in the balls.  That would be as egregious to the departed as the thoughtless bromide uttered. It is helpful to know that people say such things to comfort themselves rather than to comfort the bereaved. It's a shortcut around the brain to the food table or to the game on TV that they want to get back to. The comment usually comes from an avid church goer and this points to the greatest of ironies. It points to the difference between spirituality and religion -the difference between thinking about your faith and blindly accepting it like a cow at the trough (or the slaughter house). To say that it all happens for a reason is to suppose that such reason can only be known by God and that it is not worthy of even thinking about. We are humans walking an earthly path and such heartfelt loss cannot be discounted as not worthy of our deep scrutinization. In fact, that mystery of God can only be explored by someone who throws their hands up and yells "Why?". There is no reason or link found for those who blindly accept their fate. God becomes religion. Or as Jung says, religion becomes the substitute for God. I did not write this to bash religion. There are those who believe from the right place -from their seeking hearts.  But those who shun such questioning may not know it when they offend the next grieving widow.

Now, when someone glibly tells me that this or that tragedy happened for a reason, I correct them. "It all happens for a mystery" I tell them. And then I pause and watch the gears start to move.  A mystery is something to ponder. It respectfully asks a question and points towards an oasis. "Mystery" is indicative of the unfolding journey of life. It is the love that we ponder at funerals and for all of our lives for those who embrace such curiosity.